The following is a list of episodes for the Australian version of the improvisational television comedy series Thank God You're Here.
Series One (5 April 2006 – 7 June 2006)
Series One Guest stars
Guests include various Australian personalities, usually with a comedy/acting background.
| Guest star | Known for | Appearances | Wins | Honourable Mentions | Dishonourable Mentions |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hamish Blake | Comedian, actor, Fox FM radio DJ | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Fifi Box | Triple M radio host. Runner Up in the sixth season of the Australian Dancing With The Stars | 5 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Alan Brough | Actor/comedian, from Spicks and Specks and Kath & Kim | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Tanya Bulmer | Actor/comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Robyn Butler | Radio host, actor | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Santo Cilauro | Writer, comedian, performer | 1 | – | – | – |
| Bob Franklin | Actor/comedian | 2 | 1 | – | – |
| Kate Langbroek | Nova 100 radio host | 1 | – | – | – |
| Josh Lawson | Actor | 3 | – | 3 | – |
| Shaun Micallef | Comedian, actor, Vega 91.5 radio host | 3 | – | 3 | – |
| Matthew Newton | Actor, son of Bert Newton | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Glenn Robbins | Actor/comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Peter Rowsthorn | Actor/comedian | 4 | 2 | 1 | – |
| Akmal Saleh | Comedian | 3 | 1 | – | 2 |
| Angus Sampson | Actor | 6 | 2 | – | – |
| Frank Woodley | Comedian, from Lano & Woodley | 4 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Julia Zemiro | Comedian, host of RocKwiz | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
Series One Episode overview
| Denotes the Winner, or Joint Winner |
Episode 1: 5 April 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Fifi Box | With a tracksuit, was placed into an infomercial for a fitness product, a la Good Morning Australia | |
| Frank Woodley | With Roman warrior outfit, was sent back into Roman times, to meet his family and deliver war news to the Emperor. | Winner for sheer courage, determination and a very sneaky exit. |
| Angus Sampson | In full doctor outfit, was placed into the operating room, played a surgeon operating on a woman with some form of ear illness. | |
| Peter Rowsthorn | Placed in a Council Meeting selling the idea of a new, highly eco-unfriendly land development in Byron Bay. | |
| During the week | Shopping Centre Slicer Sales, Equestrian Commentary Booth, Cops Interview, Real Estate Agent | |
| Group scene | Featured contestants as members of a children's group, called The Wibbly Wobblies, a la The Wiggles, pitching their proposed TV show at an audition. |
Episode 2: 12 April 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Matthew Newton | As a sales representative for a new alcoholic beverage called "Fresh". | Dishonourable mention for attempting to hit on one of his customers at the car yard. (During the week) |
| Shaun Micallef | Hosting a children's TV show, a la Play School. | Honourable mention for working with kids and stuffed animals at the same time. |
| Fifi Box | In a Pride and Prejudice scenario, meeting a suitor (guest star Dan O'Connor from Neighbours). | Winner as an apology for putting her in a cupboard, a car yard and a corset. |
| Angus Sampson | On a late night TV show (a la the Late Show with David Letterman) as a famous TV chef guest (with guest star Natalie Bassingthwaighte from Neighbours). | |
| During the week | Customs Officer Interview, Wine Tasting, Fashion Show Commentary Booth, Car Yard. | |
| Group scene | Set in a World War II P.O.W. camp, with the characters planning an escape, a la The Great Escape. |
Episode 3: 19 April 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Fifi Box | Presenting a new corporate image for the Socceroos. | |
| Glenn Robbins | Arriving home from a cycling trip to find his wife leery of suspicious messages on the answering machine. | Honourable mention for his work with 'Kids Without Playgrounds In Their Backyards'. |
| Frank Woodley | As an Asian martial arts master just returned from a 10-year sojourn meditating silently in a cave. | Dishonourable mention for making the joke "Hung Sing, son of Hung Well". |
| Akmal Saleh | As a doctor presenting a range of pharmaceutical products on a morning talk show. | Winner for an excellent performance on debut. |
| During the week | Interview with Boss, Cinema Slides, Hi-Fi Sales. | |
| Group scene | Set in a Viking den, with each actor to demonstrate their prowess in various Viking arts. |
Episode 4: 26 April 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Santo Cilauro | As a plumber paying a house visit to a lonely housewife. | |
| Peter Rowsthorn | As the captain of a starship (a la Star Trek). | Honourable mention for landing a spaceship single-handedly. |
| Robyn Butler | As an actress promoting her recent movie. | Dishonourable mention for sending back a 3-armed adopted baby. |
| Angus Sampson | Sacking a longtime employee of a hardware firm. | Winner for facing the surreal experience of sacking the woman he once loved, and then informing her that he was homosexual. |
| During the week | Cheese Waiter, Jockey Interview, Canine Trials Commentary Booth, Boat Sales. | |
| Group scene | Set in a church office, with all guests as Catholic priests working on ideas to increase church-going, particularly amongst children. |
Episode 5: 3 May 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Akmal Saleh | As a group instructor for teaching clients customer service skills. | Dishonourable mention for stating as a petshop owner that guinea pigs could be bounced off a wall. (During the week) |
| Alan Brough | As a senator on the television show "Meet the Leaders", explaining his unique political standpoints, a la Meet the Press. | Winner for sending 11-year-olds into battle.^ |
| Shaun Micallef | As a Tudor physician sent to treat the king's ailing foot. | Honourable mention for upon losing his 'pantaloons' offered the line, 'Excuse my unworthy crack'. |
| Julia Zemiro | As a pyjama-clad daughter attempting to cover up the party she held during her parents' absence. | Winner for trashing her parents' house and still managing to blame her sister.^ |
| During the week | Insurance Claim, Street Reporter, Pet Shop. | |
| Group scene | Set in a health clinic, the members of the group each played an overweight person who had to explain why they had put on weight since their last visit. |
^ This is the first time there has ever been a tie between two winners in one night.
Episode 6: 10 May 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Peter Rowsthorn | As the captain of an ailing cruise ship explaining plentiful complaints by the passengers. | Winner for being faced with a sinking ship and offering passengers free quoits. |
| Josh Lawson | As a man (who turns out to be married near end of scene) meeting his Internet girlfriend for the first time. | Honourable mention for speaking French with a Scottish accent. |
| Angus Sampson | As a man hoping to rejoin Robin Hood's Band of Merry Men. | |
| Julia Zemiro | As the author of self-help books, being interviewed on a radio program. | Dishonourable mention for being clearly distracted in the men's shower room (All-in). |
| During the week | Tarot Cards, Council Extensions, Rodeo Commentary Booth, Piano Sales. | |
| Group scene | As members of a TV sports panel, crossing live to Julia in the locker room at half time. |
Episode 7: 17 May 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Josh Lawson | As an expert "Dog Whisperer", demonstrating ideal dog-handling techniques to a roomful of dog owners. | Honourable mention for getting licked by a dog who had, beforehand, licked its private parts. |
| Fifi Box | As the Minister for Planning in a local Council, discussing her "needle" exchange program, which has been built directly across the road from a primary school. | |
| Bob Franklin | As the leader of a revolutionary army, describing to his followers the plans for the following day's battle. | Winner for surviving a parrot attack and leading a revolution based on the philosophy, 'All Men Are Expecting Too Much'. |
| Frank Woodley | As the owner of a retirement estate, being interviewed on television about his unusual practices and approach to aged care. | |
| During the week | Job Interview, Reporter: Canberra, Gallery Curator, Tour Bus Guide. | |
| Group scene | As members of an Amish community, being called to the Elders to explain their sins. |
Episode 8: 24 May 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Angus Sampson | As Ozzie Phil, the co-manager of an Australian Pie Company. | |
| Josh Lawson | As a cowboy, returning from an Indian-related mission. | Honourable mention for playing a fondue-cooking cowboy. |
| Tanya Bulmer | As a bride, struggling to get to the end of the speeches with her husband at the wedding reception. | Dishonourable mention for turning on her sister and breaking her vows of 'nunhoodedness'. |
| Hamish Blake | As "Sledge", an Australian music icon who has sold 1 billion copies of his album, being interviewed on The Late Show. He is joined by Kate Ceberano for a duet. | Winner for actually grabbing Kate Ceberano on the bottom |
| During the week | Stadium Announcements, School Tour. | |
| Group scene | As superheroes (Stacey, the 'Just Super' girl; Reptilo, who can regrow limbs; Archimedo, who knows about the displacement of water, and has a laser; and Donald, who can fix things) fighting to save the world from an asteroid sent by Darryl Eastlake Man.^ |
^Note: All the heroes' names and powers, plus the villain's name were coined by the contestants. (They were asked who they were and who the villain was)
Episode 9: 31 May 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Hamish Blake | As an office worker accused of racist and sexist comments. | Honourable mention for getting sacked and still managing to hit on his boss's secretary. |
| Bob Franklin | As a war hero coming home to his family and friends for the first time in years. | |
| Fifi Box | As "Tanya Mills", a spokeswoman for the company "Naughty but Nice" which sells items and clothing to spice up fun in the bedroom. | Dishonourable mention for telling us that, as a little girl, she dreamed of making adult products. |
| Peter Rowsthorn | As "Jeff", an Australian cricketer giving a press conference to face questions about some of his more disgraceful behaviour. | Winner for being abusive, drunk and seen cavorting with naked nurses, but still managing to score a double-century. |
| During the week | Childcare Centre, Reporter: Beach, Housing Estate Sales. | |
| Group scene | As pirates applying to be first mate on a new pirate ship. |
Episode 10: 7 June 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Shaun Micallef | As a foreign affairs minister explaining his country's actions to another country, namely an ecological disaster and insulting their queen. (Your queen was so fat that she auditioned for The Biggest Loser, and was told "Sorry, no professionals"). | Honourable mention for being the first Australian minister to apologise for anything. |
| Angus Sampson | As Roger Higginbottom, a passenger on the Titanic, showing his friends his skills with women. | Winner for his advice on picking up a woman, 'Listen, look, touch'. |
| Frank Woodley | As a man returning home after a day on the goldfields, and finds his mother sick. | |
| Kate Langbroek | As Cleopatra, returning from a trip to the Nile. | |
| Akmal Saleh | As a clown attempting to respond to several complaints regarding his (dangerous and unidealistic) act. | Dishonourable mention for juggling kittens, and shrinking a horse. |
| During the week | Big Brother. | |
| Group scene | A breakfast television show "Daybreak" a la "Sunrise", with each character playing a different role (anchor, news reporter, sports reporter, weatherman, traffic update, appearing respectively). Featured use of all three indoor sets and a helicopter. ^ |
^While Kate Langbroek and Akmal Saleh when through the door, Shaun Micallef and Angus Sampson went to two green rooms on both sides of the set, Frank Woodley headed into a helicopter outside the studio which then took him up above the studio to do his segment.
Series Two (6 September 2006 – 8 November 2006)
Series Two Guest stars
| Guest star | Known for | Appearances | Wins | Honourable Mentions | Dishonourable Mentions |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Stephen K Amos | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Arj Barker | Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Tahir Bilgiç | Actor/comedian | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
| Hamish Blake | Comedian, actor, radio host | 3 | – | – | 3 |
| Fifi Box | Triple M radio host | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Alan Brough | Actor, comedian, from Spicks and Specks | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Robyn Butler | Radio host, actor | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Anh Do | Comedian, actor, writer | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Bianca Dye | Radio host | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Dailan Evans | Writer, actor, from The Wedge | 1 | – | – | – |
| Anthony Field | The Blue Wiggle | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Bob Franklin | Actor/comedian | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Andrew G | Radio presenter, co-host Australian Idol | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Russell Gilbert | Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Kate Jenkinson | Actor, from The Wedge | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Jimeoin | Actor/comedian | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Josh Lawson | Actor | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Tony Martin | Comedian, writer, radio host | 3 | 1 | 2 | – |
| Shaun Micallef | Comedian, actor, radio host | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Matthew Newton | Actor | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Glenn Robbins | Actor/comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Peter Rowsthorn | Actor/comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Akmal Saleh | Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Angus Sampson | Actor | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Ryan Shelton | Actor, comedian, from Real Stories | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Jo Stanley | Television and radio personality | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
| Merrick Watts | Comedian, radio host | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Cal Wilson | Comedian, radio host | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Frank Woodley | Comedian, from Lano and Woodley | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Julia Zemiro | Comedian, RocKwiz Hostess | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
Series Two Episode overview
| Denotes the Winner, or Joint Winner |
Episode 1: 6 September 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Hamish Blake | As a 1950s boy picking up a girl for a first date, who is confronted by her father, a Senator (presumably a United States one). | Dishonourable mention for calling his date a special little pink pig. |
| Anh Do | As a chef in a restaurant that serves poor quality food and drink who is confronted by angry diners (one of which being a 'professional' food critic). | Winner for his timely health warning, "Don't go to the toilet when it's cold - it damages your bits." |
| Cal Wilson | As a game show co-hostess. TV Jackpot (a la Temptation) | Honourable mention for introducing nudity to a TV game show. |
| Tony Martin | Hip music/entertainment talk show guest. | Honourable mention for his Lady Jennifer of Hawkins quest (All-in). |
| During the week | Auction, Dentist. | |
| Group scene | Medieval knights reporting to King Arthur to discuss their separate adventures, and to learn their next adventure. |
Episode 2: 13 September 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Shaun Micallef | As the leader of an expedition climbing Mount Everest, planning their way up the summit. | Winner for giving scouts tattoos (All-in) |
| Dailan Evans | As a film reviewer for the fictional program Screen who recently attended the Australian Foreign Film Festival. | |
| Bianca Dye | A travel agent employee who helps a couple decide on a cruise, while an angry customer calls up to complain about his service. | Honourable mention for turning I.T.A. into I Trust Arse |
| Josh Lawson | As a philanthropist who returns from a journey in the Amazon. | Dishonourable mention for comparing the queen to a dog. |
| During the week | Nursing Home, Drive Thru. | |
| Group scene | Scouts meeting to discuss how to generate more interest in the organisation. |
Episode 3: 20 September 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Julia Zemiro | As a school captain brought before the principal for not respecting school values. | Honourable mention for helping Year 9 girls with muffin tops. |
| Matthew Newton | As a driver who crashed his car into an apartment.^ | Winner for turning a learner's plate into a legend's plate. |
| Russell Gilbert | As 'Lieutenant Starbuck', the star of a cancelled sci-fi show at a convention. | Dishonourable mention for demonstrating a self-toileting suit on national TV. |
| Ryan Shelton | As a dancer on a reality TV dance contest show. | Dishonourable mention for stabbing his dance partner with an umbrella. |
| During the week | Mechanic, Totally Wild: Flight Simulator. | |
| Group scene | As a group of guest stars and presenters on a charity 'telethon': 'The Grow Well Telethon'.+ |
^ Contrary to popular belief, this was not the first time a member of the ensemble cast did not say "Thank God you're here" at the start of the scene. Lines similar (but not identical) to the title of the show have been used in scenes before, such as "Thank the Lord you're here" and "Thank the gods you're here". However, this was the first time the guest entered the scene without using one of the trademark blue wooden doors. Instead, Matthew Newton was escorted around the back of the set by host Shane Bourne, and he entered through a curtain (which, when viewed from the front, made him look like he was emerging from the car which was half-embedded in the wall of the set). The first words spoken were, "Thank God you're alive!"
+ For this final scene, Ryan Shelton was placed elsewhere (presumably out the back or to the side in the studio) with four kids who looked around 4–5 years old.
Episode 4: 27 September 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Bob Franklin | As a husband at a marriage counselling centre. | Winner for playing a husband with a terrific love life that his wife wasn't involved in. |
| Angus Sampson | As 'Davo', a radio personality & co-host for the 'Breakfast Bunch 97.6' | Dishonourable mention for holding a competition featuring the prize of a schooner of ouzo. |
| Fifi Box | As a party performer dressed in a fairy costume at a child's birthday party. | Dishonourable mention for eating her own performing duck. |
| Tahir Bilgiç | As a headmaster of a private school addressing an audience at Parent Information night. | Honourable mention for his school philosophy - "Today's students, tomorrow's gangs". |
| During the week | Centrelink Interview, Siege. | |
| Group scene | The manager at a fast-food outlet 'Big Big Burgers' asks questions to the four staff members about the way they act toward customers. |
Episode 5: 4 October 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Akmal Saleh | A television psychic who can see on the 'other side'. | Dishonourable mention for playing an over-excited psychic out to raise money for his home extension. |
| Hamish Blake | A pharmaceutical doctor who has to explain the new range of products for his pharmacy, Pharmo-Klein. | Dishonourable mention for his line - "No more gas, it's a flact." |
| Anthony Field | A karate sensei teaching karate. | Winner for devising a martial art called I-can't-do and for throwing in a Wiggles move. |
| Kate Jenkinson | The seductive governess of a Baron's children. | Honourable mention for going from a convent to a kebab shop to a transgender governess all in a corset. |
| During the week | Diving Commentator, Lighthouse Tour Guide. | |
| Group scene | A sports show, where Blake and Field are commentators, and Jenkinson and Saleh as reporters. |
Episode 6: 11 October 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Josh Lawson | Fire Brigade officer being questioned about the bush fires. ^ | Winner for localising a bushfire to the bush and for saving a house with staples. |
| Alan Brough | Army Sergeant in the trenches. | Honourable mention for introducing summer frocks into the trenches. |
| Andrew G | Sports coach listening to complaints from parents of children in his team. | Dishonourable mention for taking 11-year-olds on the Kokoda track. |
| Jo Stanley | A mother in her bedroom with husband and children. | Dishonourable mention for insisting that her son scores on schoolies week. |
| During the week | Taxi Inspector Interview, Totally Wild: Zoo Vet. | |
| Group Scene | The four stars are nuns being addressed by mother superior. |
^ The first time that a Guest Performer says the line "Thank God You're Here". Josh Lawson knocked on the door as he was about to walk through and then when entering he quipped "Thank god you're here, I was knocking for hours."
Episode 7: 18 October 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Tahir Bilgiç | An irresponsible husband, arriving home late and dealing with his wife. | Dishonourable mention for telling his wife that while walking down the aisle all he could think was "Why me?" |
| Tony Martin | A city's superhero, Flashman, called by city officials to review his position.† | Honourable mention for raising punctuality to the level of a superpower. |
| Cal Wilson | As Miss Caicos, a Miss Universe 2007 contestant.^ | Winner for playing a beauty queen whose goals included learning to spell 'science' and getting rid of Miss China. |
| Arj Barker | As an irresponsible housemate, explaining his actions to his peeved housemates. | Dishonourable mention for being a Pakistani Swedish American whose sole contribution to household cleaning was emptying the trash on his computer. |
| During the week | Celebrity Chef, 'Picnic At Hanging Rock 2', featuring Australian personalities Jane Hall and Andy Lee. | |
| Group Scene | Former cast-members of 'A Town In The Valley', a la Family Ties being interviewed on a 'Where Are They Now'-type show. |
^ Featured Australian personalities Alan Fletcher (Neighbours' Dr Karl), Kimberley Davies and Matt Welsh on the Miss Universe judging panel. This episode was also advertised as an 'international episode' that would feature a Turk, a yank, and two kiwis.
† Tony Martin went through the regular door but, had to be let in through a window by the ensemble cast members in the scene.
Episode 8: 25 October 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Peter Rowsthorn | A senator on a political talk-back show a la Meet the Press. | Dishonourable mention for trying to solve global warming with air-conditioners. |
| Jimeoin | An Egyptologist discovering an ancient burial chamber.^ | Winner for suffering a curse that dooms you to not being able to think of a curse. |
| Robyn Butler | A 38-year-old daughter being confronted by her parents because she is still living at home. | Dishonourable mention for refusing to marry a crown prince because he lacked 20/20 vision. |
| Stephen K. Amos | An animator pitching a new children's movie 'Snake and friends'. | Honourable mention for managing to argue that a snake snuff movie was actually about childhood obesity. |
| During the week | Stock Market Report, A Current Affair Report. | |
| Group Scene | A group of Greenpeace-type activists, getting chided at for their poor rallying efforts. |
^ Jimeoin had to go around the side and crawl through to the scene.
Episode 9: 1 November 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Glenn Robbins | A department store Santa Claus having to respond to a disgruntled manager, due to several crying children. | Dishonourable mention for playing a cigar smoking Santa who arrived without pants on, on the back of a push bike... but only once a year. |
| Matthew Newton | An aeroplane pilot who has crashed in a tropical setting, being questioned by the passengers. ^ | Dishonourable mention for playing a drunk pilot whose only advice to passengers was 'hang onto each other's hair'. |
| Jo Stanley | A singer having an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine.† | Honourable mention for playing a train spotting pop star who couldn't sing. |
| Merrick Watts | A teacher holding parent-teacher interviews with two parents, concerned about his teaching. | Winner for getting his students to cook, clean, iron and wash his car. |
| During the week | Lotto, Burke's Backyard. | |
| Group Scene | Coverage of Election 2006, with Glenn Robbins and Merrick Watts playing expert panellists, and Jo Stanley and Matthew Newton were crossed to as the Labor and Liberal candidates. |
^ Once again, Matthew Newton was led around to the back of the centre set, and started the scene coming down the emergency slide to appear like coming from the plane wreckage.
† Featured special appearance by Australian Idol judge Mark Holden.
Episode 10: 8 November 2006
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Shaun Micallef | As a bushwalker stranded and being rescued by a search party member. | Honourable mention for surviving on leaves and compost inside the stomach of an accommodating bear. |
| Julia Zemiro | As 'Annie Blake', the subject of a 'That Was Your Life' show, a la This Is Your Life. ^ | Dishonourable mention for accusing Greg Evans of groping her. |
| Tony Martin | The chief of a police terrorism force who forcibly enter a suspect's house and interrogate the suspects.† | Winner for spearheading the war on terrorism while dealing with explosions, dogs and out of place brass bands. |
| Hamish Blake | As a grandfather visiting his family on his 85th birthday. | Dishonourable mention for playing a man who stole his friend's war medals and tried to hit on his own daughter. |
| Frank Woodley | As a captain of a ship a la Master and Commander.~ | Dishonourable mention for playing a naval captain who abandoned his ship by running into the audience. |
| During the week | Contestants participating in a Challenge and Tribal Council on Celebrity Island (parody of Survivor.) | |
| Group Scene | As a network team covering a major horse racing event, presumably the 2006 Melbourne Cup. |
^ Instead of opening the door, Julia went behind the set and was asked to wait for the doors to be slide open to look alike a "This Is Your Life" entrance. Featured special appearances by Play School presenter Simon Burke as the host and former Perfect Match host Greg Evans.
† Instead of opening the door, an ensemble cast member dressed as a SWAT officer smashes the door for Tony.
~ Instead of opening the door, Frank climbed through a tunnel leading to the doors under the helm of the ship.
Series Three (11 July 2007 – 26 September 2007)
Series Three Guest stars
| Guest star | Known for | Appearances | Wins | Honourable Mentions | Dishonourable Mentions |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Arj Barker | Comedian | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Carl Barron | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Hamish Blake | Comedian, actor, radio host | 3 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Fifi Box | Radio host | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Sean Choolburra | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Stephen Curry | Actor/comedian | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
| Anh Do | Comedian | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
| Bob Franklin | Actor/comedian | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Peter Helliar | Comedian | 2 | – | 2 | – |
| Dave Hughes | Comedian, radio host | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Eddie Ifft | Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Kate Jenkinson | Actor, from The Wedge | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Kate Langbroek | Comedian, actor, radio host | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Josh Lawson | Actor | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Tony Martin | Comedian, actor, radio host | 2 | – | – | 2 |
| Shaun Micallef | Comedian, radio host | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Julia Morris | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Ross Noble | Comedian | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Peter Rowsthorn | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Akmal Saleh | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Angus Sampson | Actor | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Nish Selvadurai | Comedian | 2 | – | – | 1 |
| Ryan Shelton | Comedian, from Real Stories | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Matt Tilley | Comedian, radio host | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Merrick Watts | Comedian, radio host | 3 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Cal Wilson | Comedian, radio host | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
| Rebel Wilson | Comedian, radio host | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Frank Woodley | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Julia Zemiro | Comedian, television host | 2 | 1 | – | – |
Series Three Episode overview
| Denotes the Winner, or Joint Winner |
Episode 1: 11 July 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Peter Helliar | Steve, a co-host for a 70s music show titled The Go Show (a la Countdown). | Honourable mention for introducing the word 'yo' into the English language 20 years before it was actually used. |
| Stephen Curry | A fashion designer being interviewed on daytime talk show The Helen Darby Show (a la The Ellen DeGeneres Show). | Honourable mention for his anti-fake-fur stance. |
| Cal Wilson | A nanny who is being questioned by the parents of the children she is looking after. | Dishonourable mention for teaching kids to vote on Australian Idol on a stolen mobile phone. |
| Josh Lawson | An alien who landed in the Gold Coast hinterlands for various reasons. ^ | Winner for crossing the galaxy in a spaceship powered entirely by a Nokia charger. |
| During the week | Parkside Waters, Theatre Auditions | |
| Group Scene | As astronauts who have just landed back on Earth (except for one) who attend a NASA Press Conference to discuss their mission. |
^ Instead of opening the door, Lawson was led to the back of the set to climb through a gap in the wall which led to the door of a spaceship.
Episode 2: 18 July 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Merrick Watts | A high-roller poker player who confronts his aggressive fellow players. | Honourable mention for getting rid of his Aston Martin with cream. |
| Kate Langbroek | A flirty cheerleader auditioning to be a part of a football team's cheerleading squad. | Winner because they made her wear Lycra. |
| Nish Selvadurai | An ignorant inventor on the show The Inventors (a la The New Inventors), presenting his "Funtabulator" which seems to do nothing. | Honourable mention for the profound and simple maxim "Every good invention has a dial" |
| Hamish Blake | A school student confronted by his parents after a driving violation. | Honourable mention for thanking his mother for breast milk. |
| During the week | Lift, Japanese TV: Wildlife Officer. | |
| Group Scene | Four women (one an ensemble) involved in heated discussions on the daytime women's talk show The Couch (a la the ill-fated The Catch Up), with special guest 'Dr. Paul' (Nish) talking about his job as a plastic surgeon.^ |
^ Hamish Blake and Merrick Watts were in drag for this scene.
Episode 3: 25 July 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Tony Martin | A director showcasing his latest play, Don, to a group of investors.¹ | Dishonourable mention for casting Karl Stefanovic as Sir Donald Bradman. |
| Eddie Ifft | A country/western singing sensation is interviewed on a talk-show called "The Tonight Show."² | Dishonourable mention for leaving a horse on the 14th floor of a hotel. |
| Julia Morris | A shopaholic questioned by her angry husband about her "efforts" to save money. | Honourable mention for playing a shopaholic so troubled she needs 12 bags to put her lipsticks in. |
| Shaun Micallef | A 1920s British gent meets his friends at a picnic and is surprised by his new fiancé.³ | Winner despite the fact that he ate his way through the entire props budget. |
| During the week | Canine Pro, Sports Star Retires. | |
| Group Scene | A group of performers (Ifft as a clown, Micallef as a magician, Morris as a burlesque act and Martin as a ventriloquist) on a cruise ship are questioned about their recent poor performances. |
¹ This scene also featured Nikki Webster as one of the characters.
² Instead of going through the door, Eddie was led backstage by a cast member dressed as a stagehand and entered through an entryway, to make it look like he was appearing onto the set.
³ Before entering, Shaun tried pulling host Shane Bourne into the scene rather forcibly. Shane would bring this up again in Episode 11, when Shaun made his next appearance.
Episode 4: 1 August 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Akmal Saleh | As a profiler working for the police department after several murders. | Honourable mention for the Il Carbonara weather effect (Group Scene). |
| Dave Hughes | As an obnoxious Olympic athlete who visits a school as a guest speaker. | Winner for an excellent first-time performance in a highly flammable tracksuit. |
| Rebel Wilson | As a deceitful woman visiting her husband in jail. | Honourable mention for attempting a handstand on national TV (Group Scene). |
| Josh Lawson | As a businessman launching his new budget airline Jetplus (a la Jetstar). | Dishonourable mention for yet again fondling an ensemble cast member (Group Scene). |
| During the week | Family Plus, Boss Addresses Workers | |
| Group Scene | A group of citizens on a television program called Globe Aid (a la Cool Aid) – Saleh as a macroclimatologist, Wilson as a media personality, Hughes as a farmer and Lawson as the patriarch of a highly sustainable family. |
Episode 5: 8 August 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Frank Woodley | As a Boarding Kennel owner, explaining to a couple why he has lost their cat. | Honourable mention for attempting to juggle a cat. |
| Ross Noble | As an Elf King who has returned from an adventure (a la The Lord of the Rings). | Winner for being sent back to Middle Earth and still managing to get a Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? reference in. |
| Matt Tilley | As a cosmetic surgeon advertising his new treatment, Moxybrasion. | Dishonourable mention for turning Pauline Hanson into a man. |
| Julia Zemiro | As a lovelorn doctor having an affair with her boyfriend's colleague. | Dishonourable mention for failing to use the word 'stat'. |
| During the week | MegaSlim, Cafe 16 | |
| Group Scene | As a bobsledding team of athletes returning from a test run with bad results.^ |
^ Instead of entering through the door, the performers entered through the back on a bobsleigh which glided into the set.
Episode 6: 15 August 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Merrick Watts | As an Ambassador of Australia meeting the leader of an Asian country. | Winner for hugging a foreign minister and giving him a pair of "ugh gloves". |
| Fifi Box | As a magazine editor who is being confronted by her superiors over the magazine's direction. | Honourable mention for exposing Princess Mary's secret fear of trees. |
| Bob Franklin | As a WWII English Air force officer briefing his pilots of a proposed attack in Germany. | Winner for somehow ending a military briefing by using the word 'baboons'. |
| Nish Selvadurai | As an actor accepting an AFI award.^ | Dishonourable mention for accepting an AFI award and a ribbon he thought was a bra. |
| During the week | Regal Towers, Japanese TV: Harbour Chopper Tours. | |
| Group Scene | As workers on the backyard renovation show Better Backyards (a la Backyard Blitz) – Watts as the handyman, Box as the horticulturist, Franklin as the recycling specialist and Nish as the electrician. |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Nish had to sit down at a table by the stage with his ensemble partner, to appear as though they were at the awards show.
Episode 7: 22 August 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Tony Martin | As a scout leader questioned over his dubious scouting activities. | Dishonourable mention for introducing a badge for up-skirting into the scouts ("that would be worn next to the tea-bagging badge"). |
| Cal Wilson | As a commentator for a Royal Wedding. | Winner for taking us to a Royal Wedding that involved a runway wig, an exploding corgi and reading from Harry Potter 7. |
| Carl Barron | An explorer lost in the Australian outback (modelled on the Burke and Wills journey). ^ | Honourable mention for leading an expedition during which men were encouraged to sing, dance and grab each other. |
| Stephen Curry | The CEO of a large corporation holding their AGM. | Dishonourable mention for starting a company dedicated to the eradication of fat kids from Australia. |
| During the week | Metro Insurance, Totally Wild: Horse Trainer. | |
| Group Scene | Employees of an unsuccessful ghost train at a carnival – Martin as a skeleton, Wilson as a witch, Curry as a bear and Barron as a vampire. |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Barron had to walk through the back to appear as if he had come through the bush.
Note: Due to the Australian Idol 2007 semi-finals, no new episode was screened on 29 August 2007 in the next scheduled week.
Episode 8: 5 September 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Dave Hughes | As a holiday resort manager with unhappy "honeymooners". | Dishonourable mention for telling a honeymooning couple to go and put sand down their undies. |
| Kate Jenkinson | As a daughter, confronted by her parents about her spending too much time with boys. ^ | Dishonourable mention for convincing her parents that 'D' in a French assignment stands for 'Dis-en-cong-vleu-bleu-mont'. |
| Anh Do | As the designer of a new car, the "El Pronto". | Honourable mention for designing an Asian people-mover powered by fast-food. |
| Hamish Blake | As a professor on K'Pow, a children's science TV show. | Winner for coming up with Newton's third law of attraction 'B = D + D'. |
| During the week | Western TAFE, Weekenders Winery. | |
| Group Scene | As guests on a news and current affairs show talking about the "success" of the War on Terror – Hughes as a weaponry specialist, Blake as an author and social commentator, Jenkinson as a reporter and Do as a radio host. |
^ Kate entered via the back of the set to look as though she had come up some stairs within her house. This scene also featured Mick Molloy as a performer.
Episode 9: 12 September 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Peter Helliar | A customer service officer for a car rental company. | Honourable mention for maintaining a character and a head tilt throughout the scene. |
| Rebel Wilson | A tourist in an Italian Cafe having lunch with two attractive Italian men. | Winner for portraying a backpacker whose main idea of culture was the gelati store. |
| Ryan Shelton | As a film director on a movie review show discussing his Saw-style horror films. | Honourable mention for dealing with a picky film critic by chucking popcorn at him. |
| Peter Rowsthorn | As a Flash Gordon-inspired hero held captive by a super-villain.^ | Honourable mention for brilliant use of stomach muscles. |
| During the week | Motor Central, Skysat News. | |
| Group Scene | Subjects in a medieval King's court – Helliar as a peasant, Wilson as a fair maiden, Shelton as a court jester and Rowsthorn as a knight. |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Peter was restrained and was wheeled in the scene by a cast member dressed as a henchman.
Episode 10: 19 September 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Cal Wilson | A guest staying at a Health Retreat being questioned by the staff. | Honourable mention for coining the phrase 'Let the bok choy run free'. |
| Arj Barker | A contestant in the 'hotseat' on a game show titled Making Millions (a la Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?). | Winner for 'gesticulating' an elephant and playing for US$800 000. |
| Sean Choolburra | As a manager of a children's play centre. ^ | Honourable mention for starting a scene by landing on a button and then agreeing not to sue. |
| Merrick Watts | As a hoon on trial in court for being caught in possession of a large amount of stolen goods. | Dishonourable mention for lying to a court about 11 TVs, 2 girlfriends and a relationship with our PM. |
| During the week | Vita Boost, School Assembly. | |
| Group Scene | Reporters covering the first day of the 2007 ASEAP Games.³ |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Sean entered via a children's tube slide which he slid down on into the set. Tom Gleisner said he would give Sean bonus points if he exited the scene the same way he entered - back up the tube. Shane Bourne told Sean to go ahead, but Sean said "after you", resulting in Shane climbing up the tube as well. This is one of the very rare times Shane gets involved with the set.
³ Featured Matt Welsh as a guest performer.
Episode 11: 26 September 2007
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Anh Do | As the latest evictee from the Big Brother house.^ | Dishonourable mention for playing a firefighter raising money for little kiddies by robbing other little kiddies (Group Scene). |
| Hamish Blake | As a newly-wed spending time with his wife on their honeymoon at a caravan park. | Dishonourable mention for vowing to try to be faithful and for spending his honeymoon in the same caravan as his parents, separated only by a flexible floral sheet. |
| Angus Sampson | As 'Bob', a presenter on a Hi-5-type children's show. | Honourable mention for not only putting up with a vinyl jacket, but also for managing to rhyme diseases with nieces. |
| Julia Zemiro | A widowed cattle station owner being wooed by a gentleman suitor. | Winner for doing her own bird sound effects. |
| Shaun Micallef | As the Scarlet Pimpernel, in a meeting with his English colleagues. | Honourable mention for introducing iTunes to the 18th century. |
| During the week | SCU – Serious Crimes Unit. | |
| Group Scene | Presenters on a Christmas carols special: Carols in the Park (a la Carols in the Domain)³ – Blake and Zemiro as the co-hosts of the presentation, Sampson as a drunk Santa Claus, Do as a questionable fireman and Micallef as an even more questionable doctor. |
^ - Anh emerged from behind the studio audience and walked on stage via a runway, similar to the evicted housemates on the Big Brother Australia eviction shows.
³ - Featured The Veronicas as guest performers
Series Four (29 April 2009 – 8 July 2009)
Series Four Guest stars
| Guest star | Known for | Appearances | Wins | Honourable Mentions | Dishonourable Mentions |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Franklyn Ajaye | Comedian, actor | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Arj Barker | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Carl Barron | Comedian | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Hamish Blake | Comedian, actor, Fox FM radio host | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Alan Brough | Actor, comedian, from Spicks and Specks | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Rob Carlton | Comedian, actor Chandon Pictures & The Hollowmen | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Rhys Darby | Actor | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Anh Do | Comedian, actor, writer | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Bob Franklin | Actor | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Heath Franklin | Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Tom Gleeson | Radio host | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Adam Hills | Comedian, television presenter | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Dave Hughes | Comedian, Nova 100 radio host | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Colin Lane | Comedian | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Kate Langbroek | Comedian, actor, radio host | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Josh Lawson | Actor, comedian, TGYH veteran | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Josie Long | UK Comedian, actor Skins | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Tony Martin | Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Jordan Raskopoulos | Comedian, actor | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Peter Rowsthorn | Actor, comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Angus Sampson | Actor, comedian | 3 | 1 | 2 | – |
| Akmal Saleh | Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Toby Truslove | Actor | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
| Felicity Ward | Comedian, radio presenter | 2 | – | 2^ | – |
| Merrick Watts | Comedian | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Cal Wilson | Comedian, radio host | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Rebel Wilson | Comedian, actor | 2 | – | 2 | – |
| Julia Zemiro | Comedian | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
^ An "Extra-Honourable" mention (Episode 7).
Series Four Episode overview
| Denotes the Winner, or Joint Winner |
Episode 1: 29 April 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Merrick Watts | As the site supervisor of a building under construction, convincing WorkSafe inspectors why his site should not be shut down. | Honourable mention for justifying that a worker is wearing crocs on the grounds that a beach may fall on him. |
| Colin Lane | As an employee of a wildlife sanctuary visiting a school classroom, teaching students about Australian animals, along with a co-worker for support. | Winner because he was in drag (All-in). |
| Cal Wilson | As the great-granddaughter of Percy Little, presenting a eulogy at Percy's funeral, along with her brother. | Dishonourable mention for leaving her great-grandfather in a shed for 12 years. |
| Rhys Darby | As Captain Midnight, trying to hold up a travelling party, with horse in tow, in "early day" times.^ | Honourable mention for his highwayman pickup line, 'Wow, look at you'. |
| During the week | Motorstop, Cable TV Channels | |
| Group scene | As pregnant women (Cal, Colin), a partner (Rhys) and an obstetrician (Merrick) participating in a birthing class. |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Rhys had to walk through the back to appear as if he had come out of the misty darkness.
Episode 2: 6 May 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Hamish Blake | As a knight which has returned from a five-year quest, only to confront his king and wife.^ | Honourable mention for naming his horse 'Boris' and for putting up with a haircut for no apparent reason. |
| Josie Long | As a pop star attending a high-profile event, being interviewed by reporters on the red carpet.† | Winner despite her belief that knives never hurt anyone. |
| Peter Rowsthorn | As a staff member of a camping store, helping explorers purchase new products.~§ | Dishonourable mention for putting 20 sherpas in an 8-man tent. |
| Rob Carlton | As a doctor, informing the worried grandchildren of the status of their dying grandmother.# | Honourable mention for trying to revive a patient by raising her legs 3 feet and turning on a fan. |
| During the week | Nullgesic, Aussie Fishing Adventures | |
| Group scene | As reporters (Rob, Hamish), a working class father (Peter) and an international reporter (Josie) appearing on the political analysis television show Question Time.≈ |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Hamish came through the back, a castle hallway adjacent to a dungeon, while riding his horse.
† Instead of walking through the door, Josie came through the back, as to appear as if she had hopped out of the door of a limousine.
~ Featured Damien Fleming as a guest performer.
§ After walking through the door, Peter followed a hidden corridor to the back of set to appear as if emerging from inside a tent.
# After walking through the door, Rob had to walk down a hidden corridor which then lead to hospital style double-hinged doors which he walked through.
≈ Josie's segment was done in front of a green-screen. Peter's segment was done from the front yard of a real house opposite the Melbourne Showgrounds entrance gate.
Rob's scenario was actually filmed 2nd, and Josie's was filmed 4th. The segment order was switched in the broadcast show.
Episode 3: 13 May 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Angus Sampson | As a hotel concierge who is trying to explain his hotel's poor service to a couple of long-serving customers.^ | Honourable mention for blaming a sinking penthouse on rising damp. |
| Dave Hughes | As a ventriloquist being interviewed on Late Night Live with his puppet, Eddy.† | Honourable mention for playing two characters: a blue emu and a slightly bluer children's entertainer. |
| Jordan Raskopoulos | As a Roman soldier known for his wise advice who decided to defeat Julius Caesar. | Winner for plotting to kill Caesar with a wedgie. |
| Rebel Wilson | As the fiancé of the Swedish prince who is trying to impress his parents, the King and Queen. | Honourable mention for counting from 1 to 5 in Swedish and for doing the worm. |
| During the week | MaxiChat, Movie Interview | |
| Group scene | As the cast of an extreme motocross arena show trying to explain their poor performance to the promoter.~ |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Angus followed a hidden corridor to the back of the set to appear as if emerging from an elevator.
† Featured Melissa Tkautz as a guest performer.
~ Instead of walking through the door, Dave entered later in the scene from the back of the set, riding a miniature motocross bike.
Episode 4: 20 May 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Julia Zemiro | As a 50's tomboy at a train station catching up with her friends (a thinly veiled spoof of The Famous Five) after her trip.^ | Honourable mention for portraying a child adventurer too fond of jubes and swimming naked. |
| Carl Barron | As a Formula One race car driver getting criticised about his recent performance, on and off the track.† | Winner despite putting himself in danger of drinking his own body-weight in champagne (All-in). |
| Bob Franklin | As Colin, a board member of the State and National Bank, discussing the termination of an employee's position at the bank. | Dishonourable mention for threatening to have a tea-lady put down for drinking too much water. |
| Tom Gleeson | As the Prime Minister of Australia, arriving at an unnamed Pacific Island nation to give a special announcement. | Dishonourable mention for telling a President that he valued their country's easy women. |
| During the week | Love List Phone | |
| Group scene | As members of the bridal party in a wedding, all expected to make speeches – Zemiro as the bride, Barron as the groom, Franklin as the best man and Gleeson as the maid of honour. |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Julia followed a hidden corridor to the back of the set to appear as if she was disembarking from a train.
† Instead of walking through the door, Carl got behind the wheel of a mock Formula One racing car, which was then guided onto the set.
~ Instead of walking through the door, Tom followed a hidden corridor to the back of the set to appear as if he was disembarking from an Air Force cargo aircraft.
Episode 5: 27 May 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Tony Martin | As the owner of a mining company visiting his employees down in the mine.^ | Dishonourable mention for threatening mine-workers with a visit from Human Nature. |
| Cal Wilson | As a clairvoyant whose clients were a family that had lost their father and husband. | Winner for throwing in an accent and for putting up with a scarf. |
| Franklyn Ajaye | As a recently un-retired professional boxer, promoting an upcoming title bout. | Honourable mention for playing a boxer helping troubled youth to be more troubled. |
| Merrick Watts | As a budget airline captain, explaining a travel delay to his passengers. | Honourable mention for blaming a plane delay on hitting a taxi on the runway. |
| During the week | Kevington Grammar | |
| Group scene | As employees of a nightclub, trying to explain their incompetence to the owner - Martin as the bouncer, Wilson as the doorgirl, Ajaye as the DJ and Watts as the bartender. |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Tony followed a hidden corridor to the back of the set to appear as if climbing down a ladder from the ground level to the mine.
Episode 6: 10 June 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Kate Langbroek | As a late-night talk show guest talking about her recent marriage to an elderly rich man. | Honourable mention for playing a Brisbane party girl with lovely merignes who brought a pensioner to his knees. |
| Angus Sampson | As a big game hunter and owner of a private island, who in "evil genius" fashion had been planning to organize a hunt where the targets were passengers from a boat his henchmen had capsized. | Winner for playing a psychopathic, hay fever–affected hunter facing up to the fact that his island doesn't have EFTPOS. |
| Toby Truslove | As an exchange student returning from Germany (via Phuket). | Dishonourable mention for portraying an exchange student who came back and gave his girlfriend dirty laundry and aftershave. |
| Heath Franklin | As an elite athlete responding to complaints about his training. | Dishonourable mention for playing an athlete whose main aim was drinking and getting caught on YouTube. |
| During the week | Cityside Waters | |
| Group scene | As a group of activity organizers for a tropical resort – Langbroek as the food specialist, Truslove as the clown, Sampson as the activity specialist and Franklin as the eco-manager. |
Episode 7: 17 June 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Arj Barker | As a cult leader educating his followers (the unnamed cult in question apparently greatly influenced by Hinduism). | Honourable mention for playing a cult leader who wrote the book of demandments 'on the john'. |
| Josh Lawson | As a Submarine Captain who is explaining of their approaching fate, they are surrounded by German Submarines.^ | Winner despite breaking a prop and sending naval recruitment back 20 years. |
| Felicity Ward | As a Wife of a criminal escaping the law, under investigation by the police. | Extra-honourable mention for the excuse, "Why is the sniffer-dog going crazy in the backyard?" "We fertilise with Pal." |
| Josie Long | As a Soap Opera star on set & filming the next episode. | Honourable mention for playing a soapie star allergic to being shot. |
| During the week | A Wedding Day featuring the Groom (Lawson), the bride (Long), Bride's best friend (Ward) & the best man (Barker) | |
| Group scene | As employees of an airline called JetPlus, they are running through everything. |
^ Instead of walking through the door, Josh followed a hidden corridor to the back of the set to appear as if climbing down a ladder in the submarine, then stepping over the raised entrance & began the scenario.
- This is the first episode ever to feature more than one female guest.
Episode 8: 24/25 June 2009
- Note: This episode aired on 24 June in Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth. It aired on 25 June 2009 in Sydney and Brisbane.
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Anh Do | As Policeman Pete, a character on a children's show called "Playstreet".^ | Honourable mention for playing an overweight policeman who tried to hit on a tree. |
| Julia Zemiro | As a sailor, speaking at her ex school about her solo trips around the world. | Winner for sailing around the world twice to raise money for middle-aged virgins. |
| Colin Lane | As a one armed captain of a British Man'o'war. | Dishonourable mention for playing a prop-destroying captain. |
| Adam Hills | As the supervisor of the construction of a new luxury apartment building, answering questions from investors. | Honourable mention for attempting to build a penthouse brothel. |
| During the week | Kool Deodorant | |
| Group scene | A post-game presentation ceremony at a sporting event, featuring broadcasters (one being Colin), the winning captain (Adam), his wife in hospital (Julia), and the corporate sponsor presenting the winner's trophy (Anh). |
^ - Anh had to enter through a back door due to the size of his costume.
Episode 9: 1 July 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Akmal Saleh | As a prisoner up at his 14th parole hearing. | Dishonourable mention for trying to escape prison disguised as Ned Kelly. |
| Alan Brough | A count looking to join the Three Musketeers. | Honourable mention for willing to turn his back on wine, women and rather weird bird calls. |
| Merrick Watts | Part of an 80s trio now a duo looking to make a comeback. | Winner for putting up with a mullet, singing and weaving in a Phil Collins joke. |
| Rebel Wilson | Pensioner visited by her children about her worrying state of affairs. | Honourable mention for her fondness for sponge baths. |
| During the week | Carnival Family Restaurants | |
| Group scene | Employees of a colonial scene theme park – Saleh as a blacksmith, Brough as the Music Man, Watts as a police constable and Wilson as the sweet shop attendant. |
Episode 10: 8 July 2009
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Felicity Ward | As an aviator at a media conference | Honourable mention for demonstrating a mid-air wee. |
| Hamish Blake | As a contestant on a dating show, similar to The Bachelor | Winner for having a dream girl who had a face, didn't talk and could complete a tax return. |
| Josh Lawson | As a vampire meeting his girlfriend's parents | Honourable mention for the line, "I want to marry your daughter, and when she dies, I'll pick another daughter." |
| Angus Sampson | As a police officer at a law drafting conference, presenting a brand new initiative | Honourable mention for the season's most honest answer - "What do koalas have to do with cops?" "I'll be buggered if I know." |
| Toby Truslove | As the lieutenant of a space exploration capsule | Honourable mention for battling aliens and a rather dodgy door. |
| During the week | Breakin' Free | |
| Group scene | 'Showbiz Squares' game show scenario: Sampson as the contestant; Blake, Truslove and Ward as the celebrities and Lawson as a show case model. |
Series Five (2 August 2023 – 27 September 2023)
Series Five Guest stars
| Guest star | Known for | Appearances | Wins | Honourable Mentions | Dishonourable Mentions |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hamish Blake | Comedian, actor, radio host | 1 | – | – | – |
| Melanie Bracewell | Actor/Comedian | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Mark Bonanno | Actor/comedian | 1 | – | – | – |
| Michelle Brasier | Comedian, actor and writer | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Fifi Box | Fox FM radio host | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Urzila Carlson | Comedian | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
| Aaron Chen | Comedian | 2 | – | 1 | 1 |
| Joel Creasey | Comedian, television presenter, Nova 100 radio host | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Kitty Flanagan | Comedian, actor, writer | 1 | – | – | – |
| Virginia Gay | Actor, writer, director | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Geraldine Hickey | Comedian | 1 | – | – | – |
| Emma Holland | Comedian | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| He Huang | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Lloyd Langford | Comedian | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
| Luke McGregor | Comedian, actor, writer | 1 | – | – | – |
| Frankie McNair | Comedian | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Guy Montgomery | Comedian | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Julia Morris | Comedian, television host, actor | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Rhys Nicholson | Comedian, television personality | 1 | 1 | – | – |
| Ross Noble | Comedian | 1 | – | – | – |
| Ray O'Leary | Comedian, writer | 1 | – | – | 1 |
| Marty Sheargold | Comedian, Triple M radio host | 2 | 1 | – | 1 |
| Dane Simpson | Comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Danielle Walker | Actor/comedian | 1 | – | 1 | – |
| Julia Zemiro | Comedian, television host | 2 | 1 | 1 | – |
Series Five Episode overview
| Denotes the Winner, or Joint Winner |
Episode 1: 2 August 2023
Guest judge: Glenn Robbins
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Aaron Chen | A firefighter visiting a school classroom during fire awareness week to teach students about fire safety. | Dishonourable mention for starting more fires than he could ever put out. |
| Julia Zemiro | As a wife at an airport border control being questioned about her trip to Bali and South America. | Winner and disencouragement award for swallowing four watches, of which one was implied to have been given to guest judge Glenn as a "little present". |
| Urzila Carlson | As a Victorian lady meeting a suitor, the Earl of Sandwich, who faces advances from the suitor's brother. | Honourable mention for surviving an 18th-century threesome. |
| Mark Bonanno | As a technology entrepreneur and activist being interviewed on a late-night talk show Tonights Show (a la The Tonight Show)[lower-alpha 1] | Encouragement award for being Elon Musk but without a rocket. |
| Group scene | A talent show "Aussie Star Search", similar to Australia's Got Talent[lower-alpha 2] – Bonanno and Zemiro as judges, Carlson as a contestant's mother with fellow family members and Chen as a ventriloquist being interviewed backstage[lower-alpha 3] |
- ↑ Featured Ryan Moloney (Neighbours' Toadie) as a guest performer.
- ↑ Featured Todd McKenney as a guest performer.
- ↑ Instead of walking through the door, Mark and Julia sat on a panel within the studio audience, alongside guest performer Todd McKenney.
Episode 2: 9 August 2023
Guest judge: Judith Lucy
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Lloyd Langford | As a colonel giving his unit their final briefing before raiding a Mexican drug lord. | Winner for managing to use the word "Imodium" in his scene. |
| Geraldine Hickey | As a 40-year old fast food chicken restaurant worker living in her parents' home, returning to a confrontation in her room. | |
| Luke McGregor | A medieval general in a council planning for an uprising, similar to Game Of Thrones. | |
| Fifi Box | As the leader of a cell block of female prison inmates who is being introduced to a new inmate, similar to Wentworth | Honourable mention for being the nicest bully ever. |
| Group scene | An election night television broadcast called "Australia Decides" – McGregor as a co-host, Hickey as an election analyst expert, Langford and Box as candidates being interviewed |
Episode 3: 23 August 2023
Guest judge: Tony Martin
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Danielle Walker | Co-hosting a tropical island-themed dating show, called "Seduction Cove". | Honourable mention for making the dating show so effective. |
| Guy Montgomery | As the designer of a new phone, called the "ProVid TR40". | Dishonourable mention for making a phone which had the main feature of looking "exactly like all the other phones". |
| Virginia Gay | As a rebellious midwife nun being confronted by her fellow sisters for disobeying the order's vows. | Winner for cycling into a maternity ward, carrying a pregnant woman and making up a song. |
| Aaron Chen | As the store manager of a jewellery store, helping a sheikh choose a gift for his wife. | Honourable mention for demonstrating incredible martial arts skills and an extraordinary Danish accent. |
| Group scene | Members of a Danish rock band announcing their reunion at a media conference. |
- Note: The episode airdate was delayed for one week, from 16 August to 23 August 2023, due to the FIFA Women's World Cup semi-finals.[1]
Episode 4: 30 August 2023
Guest judge: Josh Lawson
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| He Huang | As a television infomercial doctor and founder of a skin care company called "Quint-essence", selling anti-aging cream, massage guns and bio-beds. | Honourable mention for lending a massage gun to guest judge Josh during the ad break. |
| Ross Noble | An astronaut participating in a television interview, prior to boarding their spacecraft to dock at the International Space Station. | Discouragement award for bringing zero-gravity unicycling into outer-space. |
| Emma Holland | An early 19th-century woman in ripped clothing from a poor family, who returns home after visiting the doctor for her sick father, before the colony's Governor and a soldier walk in. | Winner and dishonourable mention for turning roadkill into a scarf. |
| Hamish Blake | Team member of a pitch for a new sport to a television network executive panel, called "Big Bash Croquet", similarly named to the Big Bash League. | Encouragement award for refraining from "front-patting" a female colleague. |
| Group scene | The reunion episode of the country dating show "Love on the Land" (a la The Farmer Wants a Wife) – Holland as the relationship expert, Blake and Noble as farmers, Huang as a contestant |
Episode 5: 6 September 2023
Guest judge: Peter Helliar
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Ray O'Leary | A Spanish matador preparing for a bullfight. | Discouragement award for planning to take his bull out with a bazooka. |
| Michelle Brasier | Patisserie employee undergoing their first annual performance review. | Honourable mention with the patisserie's loss being comedy's gain. |
| Marty Sheargold | As a children's television presenter of "Kid's Corner", similar to Play School.[lower-alpha 1] | Winner and dishonourable mention for descending into the black soul of an unlikely Wiggle. |
| Julia Morris | A detective, wearing a flapper dress, solving a murder in the 1920s, similar to Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. | Encouragement award for a glorious performance and being a legend. |
| Group scene | Television broadcast of the funeral of a viscount, an member of the British extended royal family – Brasier as the royal correspondent, Sheargold as a friend being interviewed, Morris as the viscount's personal assistant being interviewed and O'Leary as a reporter within the funeral procession crowd |
- ↑ Instead of walking through the door, Marty came through the back instead and followed a hidden corridor to enter the set through a tiny children's-sized door.
Episode 6: 13 September 2023
Guest judge: Colin Lane
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Frankie McNair | At the school speech night of a prestigious high school, presenting her valedictorian address alongside two co-captains. | Winner for slotting into the character of a bully very naturally. |
| Lloyd Langford | A couple holidaying in Far North Queensland, returning their damaged hire car two days late. | Honourable mention for driving from Cooktown to Broome without a license. |
| Julia Zemiro | A French duchess in a corset and dress, sharing the secret to being the "most desirable woman in Europe" whilst rejecting suitors, before being asked by her duke husband why she remains childless, when it is revealed the duchess has cheated on him with an Italian suitor.[lower-alpha 1] | Honourable mention for dreaming of a forklift centuries before it was invented. |
| Joel Creasey | Contestant in the elimination round of a cooking show, called Kompetition Kitchen (a la MasterChef Australia), revealing his dishes to the judges.[lower-alpha 2] | Dishonourable mention for looking on the bright side and thinking that scores of "4", "3" and "3" was "433". |
| Group scene | Dressed in all black, as a group of criminals preparing for a heist of a museum's annual ball, specifically of a pearl necklace being worn by a Sammarinese princess. |
- ↑ Instead of walking through the door, Julia came through the back instead, where she had to ride a forklift up to the top of the set to enter from the top of a staircase.
- ↑ Featured Poh Ling Yeow as a guest performer.
Episode 7: 20 September 2023
Guest judge: Adam Hills
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Melanie Bracewell | A misbehaving princess being confronted by her advisors.[lower-alpha 1] | Dishonourable mention for being a potty-mouthed princess dressed in Portmans. |
| Rhys Nicholson | As a Roman general named Iberius, returning from a loss at war and meeting the Emperor and his wife.[lower-alpha 2] | Winner for bringing both Airbnb and helmet hair to Roman times. |
| Dane Simpson | A keeper co-hosting a school group's animal presentation at "Ozzie Wildlife Centre & Zoo". | Honourable mention for being the first person to be both woke and inappropriate, by introducing both koala porn and gender being a concept. |
| Urzila Carlson | As Simone, a contestant in a jungle-based reality series, returning to camp late from a food trial group challenge before being eliminated in an eviction ceremony (a la I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!).[lower-alpha 3][lower-alpha 4] | Dishonourable mention for stating that she had done charity work for children with "sticky-outy ears". |
| Group scene | A breakfast show called Mornings – Bracewell as a co-host, Carlson as a finance expert, Nicholson as a television doctor and Simpson as a roaming weatherman visiting a country town |
- ↑ Instead of walking through the door, Melanie came through the back instead, to enter the set though climbing through a window.
- ↑ Instead of walking through the door, Rhys came through the back instead and entered on a horse-drawn chariot.
- ↑ Instead of walking through the door, Urzila came through the back instead, with two ensemble cast members dressed as contestants in red shirts and khaki pants, to appear as though they were returning from a challenge though walking through some bushes.
- ↑ Featured Grant Denyer as a guest performer.
Episode 8: 27 September 2023
Guest judges: Glenn Robbins & Tom Gleisner
| Guest star | Scenario | Placement and why |
|---|---|---|
| Kitty Flanagan | A resort manager dealing with customers complaining about their room.[lower-alpha 1] | The "Best Entrance" Award, for kicking down the door and hugging the host. |
| Marty Sheargold | A sex therapist who is promoting his new book on a morning panel show, Morning Chat (a la Studio 10 and Loose Women). | The "Most Dubious Advice" Award, for saying "It's okay to stray on a Saturday night". |
| Emma Holland | An amateur entrepreneur hoping to receive investment in a new product, Luminoskin (a la Shark Tank). | The "That's Never Happened" Award, for slapping an ensemble member. |
| Guy Montgomery | A 1930s bar owner who starts to make a deal to sell his bar, while charming a love interest; a la Casablanca.[lower-alpha 2] | Winner and the "Let's Hope the Kids are in Bed" Award, for naming his bar after his first wet dream. |
| Group scene | An alien spaceship led by the first officer (Montgomery) and captain (Flanagan), trying to stop the villain (Sheargold), with the help of a fighter pilot (Holland). |
- ↑ Featured a walk-on by ensemble director and former cast member Ed Kavalee.
- ↑ Featured a cameo by Miguel Maestre.
References
- ↑ Knox, David (14 August 2023). "Networks begin yanking Wednesday shows from competing against Matildas semi final". TV Tonight. TV Tonight. Retrieved 6 September 2023.
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